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Friday, June 6, 2008

New Words for the Workplace Vocabulary

New Words for the Workplace Vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing
Why a deadline was missed or a project failed,
And who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot
Of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
(Hmmm sounds familiar)

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem
To absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss
Rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day
Swimming upstream only to get screwed and die
In the end....(LOSER)

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CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something
Loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over
The walls to see what's going on. (now thats funny but true)

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer
To the couch potato.(I am not wired thank you very much)

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SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
Stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
Out and whiney. (that's what I am saying!!!)

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
Because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
(ummm that's happened to me)

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XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies
From one's workplace. (whatever)

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap
Out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
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ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
Beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that
Fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
Inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
Designed to solve. (AMEN)

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
Error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the
Requested document could not be located.
(You people know who you are!!)

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OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in
Which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
(I know we have all been there)

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Don't be too busy today...pass along the grins!!

 

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